Not for the first time, Disneyland is shutting down its Pirates of the Caribbean ride next month to make way for one more politically correct renovation. Having already removed a “controversial” scene in which pirates are chasing a buxom lady around a table, the park is planning to remove the “Bride Auction,” in which the animatronic buccaneers bid on a bevy of women. Park executives say the scene is “sexist and anachronistic,” as though a ride celebrating seafaring murderers of yore should be up to date with all the latest social justice trends. Are you kidding?
According to one Disney fan quoted by the Daily Breeze, the change shows that Disney is perceptive to the changing times.
“Disneyland needs to reflect the times, and it seems to me this is the time to change it,” said the observer. “It’s uncomfortable even for me to see women being sold into bondage and human trafficking. I can’t even imagine what little girls think about this. It seems to me that Disney was just ahead of the curve on all this ‘Me Too’ movement because they announced this change last summer.”
Uh-huh. Oh, we have an answer to that thing you “can’t imagine.” What do little girls think about the Bride Auction when they sail by it in the little Disney boat? They don’t. They certainly do not conjure up self-loathing ideas about “bondage and human trafficking.” They take it in the spirit in which it is intended – harmless fun on a ride that Doesn’t. Actually. Mean. Anything.
But, no, there’s no such thing as harmless fun once the specter of feminism falls on a society. Now Pirates riders will be treated to a new scene of all-female pirates looting a city.
Did someone say something about an anachronism?
In remarks to the press, Disneyland historian David Koenig said he was disappointed with the impending changes. “The bride auction is being removed because Disney is lily-livered,” he said. “No one is really offended by animatronic pirates acting lusty. It’s in-character silliness. I don’t advocate gunplay, thievery, alcoholism or sexism, but I’m still able to enjoy a show in which pirates behave like pirates.”
Obviously, our society is not going to be made or be broken by whatever Disneyland decides to do with its Pirates of the Caribbean ride, but it’s always worth highlighting the overreaches of the bleeding-heart left. When they look at a harmless bit of fluff like a Disney ride and start thinking about how it will affect young girls or otherwise alter the guest experience, how can you take them seriously on the larger issues facing our country?
In any event, if you’re eager to check out the new and “improved” ride, Disney has said it will reopen in June.