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Crazy California: Give Out a Straw, Go to Jail

This week, the city of Santa Barbara, California took a great leap towards SAVING THE WORLD by passing an ordinance that will put restaurant employees in danger of incurring fines of $1,000 and imprisonment of up to six months…for handing out plastic straws to their customers.

Bars, restaurants, and food-service establishments of all types will be covered by the new ordinance, which comes at a time when the left seems especially preoccupied by the environmental threat posed by drinking straws. Starbucks recently created a stir (haha) by announcing they would be phasing out straws at their coffee shops over the next few years. Apparently the Santa Barbara Democrats thought they could outdo that policy and make straws downright criminal, baby!

God, don’t you just love the tree-hugging left?

If the idea of sending a waiter to jail for the sin of handing a straw to a customer sounds ridiculous, you really don’t have the full measure of the insanity yet. Because here’s the best part: Each straw represents a separate violation. So while we don’t expect this to be enforced as such, theoretically a waitress handing out a handful of straws to a party of eight…could end up serving up to four years in jail. Like we said, that’s almost certainly not going to happen, but you have to take these idiots at their word. And this is indeed what’s now on the books in Santa Barbara.

This, in a state where breaking federal immigration law is an infraction of no concern at all.

Even for people who are super-duper concerned about plastic straws and their miniscule contribution to the planet’s waste, there are reasons to oppose this heavy-handed nanny-statedness. As Karin Willison, The Mighty’s disabilities editor points out, many people depend on straws not for preference, but for accessibility.

“This ordinance is ridiculous on so many levels, but it’s downright offensive to people with disabilities,” Willison writes. “Many of us need straws to drink because of limited strength or coordination. Banning straws means we can’t drink in restaurants. We are de facto excluded from any food establishment in Santa Barbara. Unlike straw bans in other cities, there is no automatic exception for people with disabilities. To keep any disposable plastic straws on hand, businesses will have to ‘demonstrate, in writing, a public health and safety requirement or medical necessity to use the product.’ I’m sure they’ll all be racing to cut through that red tape.”

Just another example of how the left unintentionally wreaks havoc with their do-goodery. Every city in California – hell, every city in America – could ban straws and it wouldn’t make a bean’s worth of difference to the environment. But then, when just “changing stuff” is a good all unto itself, we suppose that argument won’t matter much to the Democrats who authorized this ban.

What do you think?

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Written by Andrew


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  1. Wouldn’t that in turn be “ripping children away from their patents” in some cases? I am so glad I don’t live in California!! What a bunch of airheads!!

    • I was born and raised in Southern California IN THE 60’s 70’s 80’s up until 1997, and it’s hard to see what’s going on there… It’s no longer California, it’s Califucktard,
      so bloody sad….

  2. There were plastic straws found lodged in the noses of sea turtles-full length and causing problems. Turtles essential link in food chain. Plastic straws in ocean and other waters pose danger to animals, so the rationale is that paper straws will dissolve faster and pose less danger, besides being better for the environment overall. As protecting marine (and other species) is important, California takes this step. I remember paper straws from my youth.

  3. maybe someone will create wood reusable straw I suggest it so may I receive a royalty.
    Everyone can purchase them and take them to the restraunt themselves and therefore waitress isn’t in trouble for handing them out. I have a hollow wooden tool and it works great as a straw just needs to be longer…
    California is not only crazy, but the democrat that made this a law on their books is nuts, hope they don’t re elect him/her again. they are sure out for themselves and not the people. evil they are.

  4. This is not crazy, so don’t sit back and fling your hand and say “Whatever” California is Crazy, this is serious S-h-eye-t the lawmakers are crazy? OF COURSE NOT…They are very sane and know exactly what they are doing…Just who’s making these unjust laws? and a background check needs to be done on the one’s who will enforce laws like this… These are your enemies, don’t think for a minute they’re crazy…

  5. This is not crazy!! so don’t sit back and fling your hand and say “Whatever” California is Crazy, this is serious S-h-eye-t the lawmakers are crazy? OF COURSE NOT…They are very sane and know exactly what they are doing, and that is taking down the west, it’s been going on since at least 1787…Just who’s making these unjust laws? and a background check needs to be done on the one’s who will enforce laws like this… These are your enemies, don’t think for a minute they’re crazy…

  6. Yes the demo dummies have now surpassed another all time high on the looney meter! Break our immigration laws and be rewarded with free taxpayer subsidies! BUT!!!, a plastic straw is the last straw and you will goto JAIL!
    How can anyone whose not completely lobotomized vote for any politician that would even entertain an idea like this with all the horrible things going on in California that need to be fixed before the state completely collapses from all the other insane laws?
    Fortunately California is one big earthquake away from having all their troubles wash out to sea and America will be much better off…

  7. The article says the results are “unintentional.” I suggest that they are purely intentional. Another way to get control of people’s lives by the wanabee dictators on the left.

  8. Hmm, I noticed that you left out the other half of this proposal which is to replace the plastic straws with paper ones. Will it solve all of the problem of plastic pollution? No. But , as millions of plastic straws are used and discarded daily, will it help? Yes. And I doubt that an individual waitress or waiter would be fined. That person does not have a choice regarding products used. But the business owner does. If there is a better alternative, then it should be used.

    • How many trees will it take to make all these paper straws. I am so glad that I visited California when it was a beautiful and sane state. I will never go there again as I don’t want to socialize with used needles, people living in tents and feces on the streets. How much more does it take for the sane citizens in California to stand up and say ENOUGH!

      It looks like a great deal of it is burning up. Maybe God is punishing the idiots. Too bad the good people have to suffer.

  9. Just goes to show you what California’s priorities are. What a bunch of assholes running California., no wonder it’s in the tank. Use a straw and go to jail, illegal aliens commit crimes and go free.

  10. Americans are being put out of work. People have jobs manufacturing, selling and distributing these straws. Making America poor…look to the Democrats.

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