in Satire

Hillary Clinton Struggles with Email

by Andrew Scott February 3, 2016, 8:24 pm 214 Views 30 Comments

A Donald Trump SuperPAC co-sponsor bike messenger said Wednesday that Hillary Clinton has no idea how to use emails, and the email server scandal is a decoy to cover up that fact.

In an unconfirmed statement he said she has “not yet entered the digital age.” The source reported that an unnamed contact revealed Clinton did not know how to print an email and continues to repeatedly ask staffers where the send button is.

The same source wouldn’t confirm a rumor that Clinton sends handwritten notes to staffers in the hopes they will get the communications out in an email.

In an unrelated statement, Bill Clinton said, “She talks to herself a lot.” Sources have interpreted this to suggest Hillary has accidentally sent email messages to herself on occasion. “Do I have to do every email for you, mom? It’s soo simple (sigh),” Chelsea was overheard one evening over her pocket-dialed cell phone connection to a friend.

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Written by Andrew Scott

Andrew Scott is the Editor and Publisher of Embellished 1 News.

Embellished-1 News was started in the Spring of 1996. Its mission is to capture the essence of a news periodical and transform that concept into an all out hilarious experience. It has maintained that stance over the years and in its effort to become a regularly incremented piece of work will continue and build on both its originally intended concept and evolving standards as they arise. Mr Scott contributes regularly to numerous web sites.