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John Kasich Vows to Piggyback on Donald Trump for “Ultimate Selfie”

Republican presidential candidate John Kasich vowed he would never support Donald Trump or accept any offer from him, but did say he would like to ride piggyback while taking a selfie with the real estate mogul, according to unsubstantiated reports. In an unrelated statement, Mr. Trump said it would be, “an absolute riot.”

Reports have surfaced that Kasich purchased a new smartphone and “selfie stick” for the occasion. Trump has largely ignored Kasich in most debates, not seeing him as much of a competitor. Kasich recently won his home state of Ohio where he is presently governor. It was the first win for him in the Republican primaries.

“I’ve been in government for a while. I have an idea of what it takes to be president,” Kasich said in an unrelated interview. He also pointed out it was ultimately the delegates’ decision on who gets the nomination.

Sources close to the governor said the “ultimate selfie” could be the straw that broke the camel’s back, meaning it would lead to him getting the nomination. At the very least, a supporter said, it would be loads of fun.

But there’s another challenge with this plan. How would John Kasich get on Donald Trump’s back? Unless the front runner was receptive, according to analysists, the Ohio governor would need some kind of stepstool or launching point. Then there is the issue of timing. The larger Trump could throw him off like a horse, so it would be essential to take the selfie very quickly.

A spokesperson from Lockheed Martin believed the corporation had devised a plan, but couldn’t reveal any specifics. Plus, a number of legal hurdles would have to be overcome for the plan to work. For now, everyone is just standing by waiting to see what happens.

Written by Andrew

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