in Satire

Trump and Anonymous: The War Rages On

2,604 Comments

In a video uploaded on March 4th, hacker group Anonymous declared war on Donald Trump. The group said they would have declared the war sooner, but members had underestimated the amount of time it would take to reach agreement upon which three of his several thousand offensive statements were most offensive. After working tirelessly for months, as new offensive statements were added to the list daily, they placed his calling Mexicans “rapists” and his blatant mockery of a disabled reporter in the top two. Unable to reach a consensus regarding his worst insult to women, they were forced to issue a blanket condemnation of every statement with the word “women” in it.

In one of their first acts of war, they hacked Mr. Trump’s personal cell phone and social security numbers and published the information online. Surprisingly, the majority of the calls he received in the short time before authorities intervened were not from protesters, as expected, but from desperate people still hoping to appear on The Apprentice. In response to Anonymous posting his personal information online, Mr. Trump said “They call that personal information? Oh, I’ve got information much more personal than that, believe me.”

Believing him, Anonymous hacked his recent business records in search of that information. According to documents leaked by the group early this morning, Mr. Trump has recently become the sole client of formerly well-respected public relations firm Atomic Consulting. Contract details include what legal experts are calling “perhaps the longest non-disclosure clause ever written”.

Written by Andrew

2,604 Comments

Leave a Reply

  107. Wow, fantastic weblog structure! How lengthy have you been blogging for? you made running a blog glance easy. The overall look of your web site is magnificent, let alone the content material!

    Reply

  229. Thank you a lot for giving everyone an extraordinarily breathtaking chance to read in detail from this website. It’s usually so amazing and also full of fun for me and my office fellow workers to visit your blog at the least 3 times every week to read through the fresh issues you have. And indeed, we are always impressed concerning the outstanding solutions you serve. Certain 4 tips on this page are indeed the most impressive I have ever had.

    Reply

  232. I’m curious to find out what blog system you happen to be utilizing? I’m having some small security problems with my latest site and I would like to find something more safeguarded. Do you have any recommendations?

    Reply

  266. It’s a shame you don’t have a donate button! I’d certainly donate to this outstanding blog! I suppose for now i’ll settle for bookmarking and adding your RSS feed to my Google account. I look forward to fresh updates and will share this website with my Facebook group. Chat soon!

    Reply

  303. My brother suggested I would possibly like
    this website. He was once entirely right. This put up truly
    made my day. You cann’t consider just how a lot time
    I had spent for this information! Thank you!

    Reply

  356. Admiring the time and effort you put into your blog and in depth information you provide. It’s awesome to come across a blog every once in a while that isn’t the same old rehashed material. Excellent read! I’ve bookmarked your site and I’m including your RSS feeds to my Google account.

    Reply