Man oh man, there’s something about Mother’s Day that really brings out the kooks. Feminists and abortion fanatics get really uptight at this time of year, for reasons that are perhaps obvious. But while we can (with effort) endure pro-choicers who have a difference of opinion when it comes to abortion, we find it hard to stomach people like Dr. Ghazaleh Moayedi, who penned an op-ed for Glamour last week claiming: “Motherhood made me a better abortion provider.” The kind of title that makes you think, Really? THAT’S the best thing that came out of having a baby…?
Anyway, that title is far from the most astounding thing Dr. Moayedi says in her op-ed.
After admitting (reluctantly, we assume) that motherhood comes with unbelievable joy, she says: “My joy was a privilege, one that depended on factors like my partner, my social support, and, important, my ability to choose when to parent.”
No. Becoming a mother is not like the joy of, say, getting that awesome promotion at work or winning the lottery. Those are moments of happiness, and we’re not taking anything away from that feeling of accomplishment (or luck), but to compare it to the joy of motherhood means you’ve missed it – missed the fact that the joy of motherhood is inseparable from the joy of Creation, which is to say the Joy of God. It may be a “privilege” to experience that joy, but it’s not one dependent on anything in your life situation. You don’t even have to believe in God. All you have to do is Be There. Present. Fully. It’s a gift, not an achievement.
Dr. Moayedi is probably not the first or the last woman to mistake the joy of motherhood for something else, but she IS probably the first woman to make this extraordinary assertion:
I am often asked whether providing abortion care is hard as a mother—as if abortion somehow exists in a realm outside of motherhood. But motherhood is not an accidental or natural job; motherhood is a job done with intention. Holding my baby’s tiny hands in my own not only strengthened my commitment to providing compassionate abortion care but also exposed how I needed to commit to supporting mothers in all aspects of my care.
There is no Mother’s Day card to celebrate abortion. There are Mother’s Day cards to celebrate giving hugs, wiping noses, and kissing boo-boos—actions that are seen as the core of how a mother expresses love for her children. For my patients who were not parents, and did not want to be at that moment, or who never want to be a parent, I recognize their abortions as an act of intentional motherhood. Choosing when to parent is an act of love. For my patients that were already parenting, I feel the deep love they had both for the children they had and for the pregnancies they were ending. Choosing an abortion is an act of love.
It’s not a great thing to be rendered speechless when your job is to write, but what can you even say to this? Any condemnation would be overkill. If you read that and need someone else to tell you why it’s inhuman, you are lost beyond any help we can give you.
We guess it’s not shocking that an abortionist would have thoughts like this, but it is a little shocking that a national magazine like Glamour would choose to publish it. Shocking and, quite frankly, nauseating.