Feminists Ruin Yet Another Bit of Harmless American Fun

Feminists and their LGBTQ+++ subsidiaries have already claimed one scalp this year in the form of the Boy Scouts, and now they’ve gotten themselves another one in the form of the annual Miss America pageant. The contest is not (yet) dropping its gender-specific title – though we’re sure that’s coming next – but it is dropping everything else anyone ever tuned in for. Including, most alarmingly, the swimsuit competition.

But that doesn’t matter, according to new Miss America bigwig Gretchen Carlson, because the Miss America pageant isn’t really…well, we’ll just let her tell you.

“We are no longer a pageant,” Carlson said on Good Morning America. “We are a competition.”

Yes, after much hemming and hawing from the Ugly Feminist Left, the time-honored pageant will now be aired without a swimsuit competition and, indeed, even without an evening gown portion. No longer will the contest be about the contestants’ looks; the judges will apparently make their decision based on…their charisma? Their ability to solve complex calculus equations? Their political preferences? Who can really say…

According to ABC, “the contestants from all 50 states and the District of Columbia will be asked to demonstrate their passion, intelligence, and overall understanding of the job of Miss America.”

Ah, so the goal of the contest is to know the most about…winning the contest? How very ridiculous.

Also, could it not be argued that “intelligence” is just as immutable a characteristic as beauty? What makes it okay to judge women on one and not the other? Just asking.

“We’ve heard from a lot of young women who say, ‘We’d love to be a part of your program but we don’t want to be out there in high heels and a swimsuit,’ so guess what, you don’t have to do that anymore,” Carlson said. “Who doesn’t want to be empowered, learn leadership skills and pay for college and be able to show the world who you are as a person from the inside of your soul.”

Nah, you’re judging them on their ability to give a good stock answer on stage while wearing something other than a bathing suit or an evening gown, so let’s stop kidding ourselves. This does not move women forward at all. If anything, it sends the message that women should be ashamed of striving for beauty, because we’ve somehow decided that this one aspect of human culture is wrong and evil and just plain distasteful. We’ve decided that because, well, it’s something that men appreciate, and we can’t have that.

Here’s betting, though, that the next Miss America will look…just about like all the previous winners. When they pick a fat, frumpy, sweater-wearing, pink-haired legbeard feminist, though, we’ll happily retract.

Written by Andrew

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