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Caravan Migrants Say U.S. Has Made Them “Victims of Repression”

Days after finding out what happens when you start throwing rocks and other projectiles at the U.S. Border Patrol, migrants belonging to the Central American caravans released a statement calling themselves “victims of repression.”

In the statement, which was written up by a group calling themselves Central American Exodus for Life, the migrants claimed that the Border Patrol had no right or reason to launch tear gas at an innocent crowd of children, women, and, we assume, doctors, missionaries, charity workers, etc.

No criminals, though. Not a one.

“We were only walking [to the border checkpoint] so that we could be visible, so that they would recognize that we are a large group of people who just want to be heard so that international law can protect us as we migrate and seek to improve our lives,” the group said.

This is commonly characterized as a “windu nuthin” complaint. Video evidence proves otherwise.

“There are international organizations here that accept as fact that we will not be able to enter the United States and that we should be returned,” the migrants continued, “but many of those of us who are travelling have to continue trying because they will kill us if we return to our countries.”

Included in the statement was a list of demands, which is another thing people with absolutely no leg to stand on seem to like to throw out there. Among their demands: An end to “arbitrary, manipulative, and involuntary deportations”; a faster asylum process; a permanent home in Mexico for those migrants who want to stick around; a public list of migrants who have been deported; and full-time “human rights accompaniment” so that the U.S. can’t repress them anymore.

Of these demands, we would love to see Trump provide the second one. You want a faster asylum process? Cool. Here it is:

Go. Home.

It’s not a good look when you’re on the outside of a country looking in, and you’re already bashing the imperialist bastards in charge. Maybe y’all were looking for something more in the way of a Norway or a France? Maybe a Venezuela would be better suited to your needs?

In any event, we can assure you that you’re not wanted in the United States. Sorry about the conditions in your home country, but you know, maybe instead of wasting all of that energy on trekking to our border, you should have used it to fix Honduras.

Written by Andrew

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