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“Juno” Actress Ellen Page Magically Turns Into a Dude Named Elliot

Not that many years ago, Ellen Page was winning Hollywood acclaim for her starring role as a pregnant teenager in the movie, “Juno.” But people interested in looking to see what Page is doing now, perhaps to check out some of her more recent work, will find themselves in a bit of a quandary. You see, no such woman as “Ellen Page” exists anymore. Because on Tuesday, the star announced that she is no longer a “she” at all: She’s a guy named Elliot.

“Hi friends, I want to share with you that I am trans, my pronouns are he/they and my name is Elliot,” Page said in a statement. “I feel lucky to be writing this. To be here. To have arrived at this place in my life. I feel overwhelming gratitude for the incredible people who have supported me along this journey. I can’t begin to express how remarkable it feels to finally love who I am enough to pursue my authentic self.”

Page said that her joy as coming out trans is tenuous because of the fear surrounding life as a transgender man.

“The statistics are staggering. The discrimination towards trans people is rife, insidious and cruel, resulting in horrific consequences. In 2020 alone it has been reported that at least 40 transgender people have been murdered, the majority of which were Black and Latinx trans women,” she wrote. “Political leaders want to criminalize trans health care and deny our right to exist.”

She’s trans for one day, and she’s already got the victimhood talking points down pat! If this is the kind of stuff that transgender people spend their time thinking about, it’s hardly any wonder that so many of them attempt suicide.

As far as publicity stunts go, this one worked. The Daily Wire reports: “Page was met with overwhelming support on Twitter, and even received adulation from companies such as Netflix, Hulu, Rotten Tomatoes, Dark Horse Comics, Bud Light, Ritz Crackers, and Oreo Cookie. The official Twitter account of Sony even took the time to correct the pronoun usage of an anonymous Twitter user with less than 100 followers.”

Someone was damn busy on Wikipedia, too, we’ve noticed; editors quickly scrubbed any mention of “Ellen Page” and “her” pronouns in the wake of the announcement. Not just on her main page but on any page with the slightest connection to her career. Meanwhile, the rest of us are expected to nod and smile and treat all of this as if it were completely normal.

But then, nodding and smiling are perfectly acceptable responses to insanity, so count us in.

Written by Andrew

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