San Francisco School District: It’s Now Racist to Use Acronyms

We’re going to hurry up and get this article out to you guys before someone decides that reading on a computer is the height of white supremacy. Surely, at the rate we’re going, that’s coming around the bend.

Over the last year, we’ve learned that everything from Aunt Jemima syrup to Bernie Sanders’ inauguration outfit to an inanimate boulder can be deemed racist by our new woke overlords.

Now, thanks to the same San Francisco Unified School District that removed more than 40 names from area schools because of “problematic” historical reasons, we learn that ACRONYMS are racist!

“Acronyms are a symptom of white supremacy culture,” said district art department director Sam Bass. Because of this declaration, “VAPA” will no longer be used to describe the “Visual and Performing Arts” program in San Francisco. It will now be known as the San Francisco Unified School District Art Department because shortening it could “alienate” those who are not native speakers of English.

Bass assured a local news station that the art department is committed to prioritizing “antiracist arts instruction.”

“It’s unclear if any of the hundreds of acronyms used in the district’s work, on their website and in their own name will also be changed. The school district said there is no official district-wide policy yet,” reports

We assume that Bass would have a serious problem with this lesson from English-as-a-second-language site, where the instructor explains: “Want to improve your English ASAP? Study the ABCs of everyday speech. Native English speakers often use acronyms as regular vocabulary in order to shorten their speech. An acronym is a word formed by the initial letter or group of letters of words in a phrase. For example, did you know that CEO is an acronym for chief executive officer? Here is another acronym you may know: LOL for ‘laughing out loud’”

No, no, no, teacher! Don’t you see that we should change and lower the standards of our language until everyone can speak it and understand without any struggle whatsoever? In fact, each and every individual should be empowered to simply make up their own language, and then we can just run around rambling to ourselves without any hope of actually communicating at all.

Come to think of it, would we even notice?

Written by Andrew


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